“Children don’t need a perfect parent; they need a present one”
The Positive Parent | By: Jamare Harris
Think back to when you were a child. What do you remember most about your childhood? Although my memory can be fuzzy, what I can remember is how I felt. How my friends made me feel, and certainly how my parents made me feel. I know that the majority of us strive to be good people and even better parents. We want to give our child(ren) the things we never had and undo all of the “bad” things that our parents did. We pride ourselves on throwing the best birthday parties, the amount of presents under the tree at Christmas and the constant busyness of our fun-filled weekend. But we are forgetting the most imperative piece as parents. We are forgetting to show up for our children. We are forgetting to be present. I don’t remember my gifts, my parties or my fun-filled weekends. I do however remember how I felt during those experiences, the lessons, the talks, the energy, the attention or lack thereof. I remember conversations around the dinner table and the fact that we listened to jazz while eating and how it made me feel. I also remember the void from an absent parent- the lack of presence. Your child(ren) feels all of this.
In the same breath, I am not here to say that rewards are all bad. Or that we shouldn’t throw parties and enjoy life. I am saying; slow down. What we are trying to accomplish is giving our children the life that we didn’t have or a better one. Trust me, I totally understand (which is why my child has only attended private schools lol). However, I would charge you to take a good look at the quality time that you are or are not spending with your child(ren). What could you be doing differently to make connections with them? Mentally, physically, spiritually are you showing up for them? Or, are you just being a false representation of a “good parent” by showering them with things...
After spending years in education, and being a mom myself, I can tell you wholeheartedly that you are enough for your child(ren). After a whole day with my child, she still just wants to cuddle and talk. She just wants my attention, my love, my presence. You will always be the only gift that they need. They will remember the time spent, not the money. And that is priceless...
Until next time, stay positive, parents!